Actually, if you live anywhere where temperatures don't regularly dip below the minimum threshold necessary to sustain life, then you maybe don't know.
If that's the case, let me detail for you just how cold weather really keeps you glamorous:
- Thanks to constant wind and unfathomably dry air, the only way to keep your lips from feeling like they've been freshly sandpapered is to slather them with obscene amounts of lip balm and keep them that way at all times. Seriously, gob it on there - with a spackle knife, if necessary. Sure, this approach will always make you feel like your lips are drowning in an oil spill, but if you don't look like Melanie Griffith every single second of every single day from November to about mid-May, then you aren't doing it right.
- Flannel underwear is necessary, especially if you're a guy (don't pretend you don't know why). But flannel underwear is bulky, so if you are going for that slim-fit, tailored look -- good luck. You will have lumps and bulges were there should be no such thing. So, you can either wear ill-fitting pants that conceal your choice of undergarment or you can look like you're wearing a diaper. Your choice.
- There is really no end to the wonders freezing temperatures and moisture-less air can do for your tresses. My hair is currently defying the laws of physics with its inexhaustible ability to attract/store/generate static electricity and stand on end. "Crispy" and "brittle" are laughable understatements for whatever sad, keratin-based substance is now on top of my head. I still comb it in the morning, but I don't know why. It has just decided it is going to be a wispy mop until we are about halfway into 2012.
- Most people know a chill in the air adds a flush to your cheeks. That can be appealing, because it makes you look healthy and vibrant. But sustained exposure to windchills makes your entire face look like it has been scalded. The effect is rather demonic, and "demonic" is definitely a bold and fashion-forward move to make.
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